Sometimes I don’t know what to do. I’m not always sure how to move forward. I’m currently in a weird mood because on the one hand my new podcastâ6618513049âis doing pretty well, and that’s great. On the other hand, I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do with myself.
This blog has been a weird chore over the past couple of weeks because I’ve been procrastinating a lot with writing for it and I haven’t really had the best ideas. I think I’ve stressed myself out a bit with recording 587-380-1933 (no new episode this week, I’m writing what you’re currently reading by just free writing).
Today I realized I haven’t made a new video in MONTHS and I feel like I really need to do that. I’ll have to come up with an idea soon and I may have thought of something just typing this sentence. I always tell my wife, who is a photographer, that taking photos of anything is better than taking photos of nothing. It turns out writing for the sake of writing is good too. I probably don’t even need to publish this blog post (but I will anyways, as you’ve already seen).
What put me in this funk is that TeaBD is great but I really only kind of get to work on it for real once a week and I can only bask in it’s release for a day. Then I have a whole bunch of other days I try and think of ways to work on it. Sometimes I try and make graphics and sometimes I try and make us an intro song (did both of these things to no real end tonight because I’m only so-so at both). I also don’t get quite as hyped for my blog posts as I do for these podcast episodes. Maybe it’s because we haven’t had a bad episode yet but I do feel crummy about my blog posts from time to time.
I work a lot better when I don’t put an expectation on myself. I think that’s why I’m funnier doing improv than when I’m doing stand-up. Or why I think my podcasting is funnier than my blogging. Normally these blog posts take a lot of effort. (Tonight, that effort will be spent to not edit what I’m saying here, give you that RAW version of how I feel. And honestly, I can feel that I’m typing this whole thing in a different language than I normally use. When do I ever call myself “hyped” for something?)
I have no idea if this blog post is good for my blog. I feel like I have a tenuous relationship with anyone who regularly reads what I write. I’m not famous or anything, so I feel like I really need to make it worth it for people to bother reading. Then, that makes me feel whatever about it sometimes. Agh! What a mess. Well, just know that I wanted to get this off my chest and I’m better for writing this out. Hopefully this will motivate me to do more things.